A friend of mine from out of state called me up recently to inquire about bed bugs. So I said, "ya, what about them"? She said, "How the hell do I get rid of them"! And I said, "Take a shower once in a while and that should help"....no, no, that's not what I said, hehehe! Anyhow, from what she explained, she's had a case of "scratchies", or constant itching due to those darn critters known as Bed Bugs and for the life of her, she couldn't figure out how she got ‘em. After a few inquiries, I came to find out that she had rented an apartment that already had a bed set. Well, that explained it all! I told her it's most likely that nasty mattress. God knows how many dirty people have been using it and not to mention, when the last time that room had been thoroughly cleaned.

Then I said to her, "Okay, you're far from being a blond, (she's Asian), so what's the real reason why you called"? And she responded, "That is the real reason why I called! But while we're on the subject, I'd like to pay a visit for a month or so before I head out to Indonesia". HA! I knew it! Damn you Venny! Quite sneaky! I asked her why and she said she wants to "explore" the Central Valley and so would like to have a place to stay for free. I told her that there wasn't much to explore and that she's just using me for room and board. And she said, "Well, ya! Of course"! I told her that, fine, I'll give her a place to stay but she needs to help out with groceries and take turns cooking dinner and as well, can only stay for 2 weeks since that's all my landlord will allow. Then I said, "If you're planning to make a visit, then you better not bring any of those bed bugs with you! In fact, I'm gonna quarantine everything you bring, including yourself and toss it all in the backyard and spray the hell out of it all with some Bed Bug Zapper stuff"!

Oh, by the way, Venny is a good friend of mine....more like a "drinking buddy" type, except, she really doesn't drink. Or maybe, a better analogy would be a tomboy except she isn't a tomboy. Well anyhow, you get the picture. Oh, and NO! We DEFINITELY DO NOT have any type of sexual relationship! Ya she's cute, but I simply see her as a buddy and nothing more. Cheng, if you're reading this, believe me, I'm telling the honest truth! God, I just hope she doesn't overtake my bathroom with all her girly stuff and for God sakes Venny, don't be flushing your tampons down the toilet!!

So in preparation, I've borrowed an air bed from a friend, got an extra key to my apartment from the landlord and bought lots and lots of Bed Bug Zapper....stuff. Hmmmm..... maybe I should amend our agreement and toss in house cleaning too. Hehehe! Oh, just wait Venny! You just wait for disturbing my peaceful single living! Hahahahaha!